FUCKEN YUM: MY VALENTIN = SBUX BC I FUX W THE BUX HARRRRRRD

Yoyoyoooooh! It’s ur valentin Mandy (lol in ur dreams perv) back w another FUCKEN FOODIE POST 4 ur viewing pleash. That’s rite, bitchez – this week is VALENTIN’S DAY aka get ur heart broken by the hawtest chic on the internet aka ME aka M-A-N-D-Y, rimes w CANDY wich is SWEET liek my **TIRE SOUNDS SCREACHIN FROM A FERRARI** WUT DID YOU THINK I WAS GONNA SAY, PEDO?!! lol just joshin I think im onna sugar high liek a mofo plz excuse me 1 sec 2 get my thots together in order 2 convay some srs exciting news.

AH HEM!!!!! *DRUM ROLL PLZ*

SBUX IS BACK BAYBEE! U heard correctly – my FAVE PLACE OF LYFE has done the impossible YET AGAIN by sumhow cumin up w not 1 not 2 but 3 FUCKEN NEW FLAVES SPECIAL 2 VALENTINS DAY!! if ur a fan of my blog (wich I no u r bc how could u not be its fucken sickatating lol no im not in 3rd grade i promise) u already no how hard I FUX w the BUX so u can only imagine how GDFUCKEN excited I am 2 try these new flaves! B STILL MY HART! Yo u wouldn’t guess it but Shakespere is p sick n on point sumtimes, especially wen discussin v important topics like SBUX, etc n u jus gotta drop a smart ass ref n make tha ppl think.

Screen Shot 2016-02-08 at 9.41.56 PM

Ok so lets start w the basics – the FlAvEs!! All of wich r CHOCO BASED!!!

  1. Obv gotta start w the frap option bc HELLOOOO! Say HELLOOOOOOOO 2 tha Molten (WTF does that even mean lol im not a fucken walkin dictionaire) CHOCO FRAPPUCINO! ONLY $4.80 for a GRANDE (probs American but whatev) and itll def MELT UR COLD LONELY HART! Cheaper than therapie amirite lol thats wut my mom says about chocolate newayz.
  2. SAY WASSSSSSAP (liek in scarry movie style) 2 MOLTEN CHOCOLATE LATTE! BTW BUX I no ur perf n stuff but slight suggestion 2 make the title of this drank even catchier is 2 mayb make it “MOLTEN CHOCOLATTE” u can have it for free lol its my honor 2 serve u.
  3. SAY “OH….U” (disappointed not sexi lol) 2 the CHEAPEST item of tha bunch (4.25$) MOLTEN (real orig, rite?) HOT CHOCOLATE! This one sounds ok I guess but again DAFUQ is MOLTEN? is MOLTEN sum kinda afrodeesiac specil 4 the holiday? Maybe if my DUMBASS MOM had sum molten my dad wouldnt have DIVORCED HER LOL I can joke bc it was so long ago n I done sum therapie 4 it n its healthier 2 joke about these things so HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA DIVORCE LOLOLOLOLOLOL LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO ROFLLLLROFLROFLLLLLL

So basically if u wanna TRY n b my valentin this valentin’s day, the leats u can do is send ur gurl Mandy an sbux gift card. then we’ll talk. AND I MEAN ONLY TALK! IM NO HO! DONT LISTN 2 MY FUCKEN GROSS BRO DEVON! HE’S JUST AN EPIC TROLL ASS BITCH W NO REAL FRIENS EVEN THO HE’S ALMOST FUCKEN 40!!!!


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