Am I Manipulative?

am I manipulative

For as long as I can remember, I have had the good fortune of surrounding myself with people willing to bend over backwards to get me whatever I want, asking next to nothing in return. I initially attributed the subservient nature of my acquaintances, close friends and family members as nothing more than a willingness to appease a beautiful person because, as we all know, beautiful people get special treatment. However, after an extended stare in a clean mirror, I have come to the conclusion that my bone structure alone isn’t enough to make people do my bidding. Now I must come face to face with the possibility that I may not be as attractive as I once thought, but also that I might be a manipulative swine.

How do I know if I am manipulative? Serendipity led me to the answer. Serendipity, a close personal friend of mine from university, had given me a pamphlet with the answer printed on the back after I guilted her into buying me an ostentatious dinner.

Repeat after me:

  • I pretend to be incompetent, play the victim, act helpless, or admit too often that I am stupid to get what I want.
  • I say “anything you want” when I don’t mean it or I lie about how I feel to get what I want in the long run.
  • I say “promise me” or I act overly concerned to get what I want.
  • I promise to change my behaviour knowing perfectly well that I don’t want to change to get what I want.
  • I blame others for my problems to get what I want.
  • I act ignored, forgotten, hurt, wounded, unloved, or uncared for to get what I want.
  • I act angry or throw temper tantrums to get what I want.
  • I act depressed or suicidal to get what I want.

If all these statements ring true for you as they did for me, then I’m afraid that we are manipulative swine. But is that such a bad thing?

From the statements I plagiarized from Serendipity’s pamphlet, we can deduce that the weapons manipulators favour are based in guilt, complaining, comparing, lying, denying, feigning ignorance/innocence, blame, bribery, undermining, mind games, assumptions, reversals, emotional blackmail, evasiveness, helplessness, forgetting, fake concern, love, sympathy, apology, flattery, gift giving and favours. What’s troublesome is not that we see manipulative tendencies within ourselves, but that summarizing the favourite weapons of a manipulator includes every single brand of human interaction.

I suppose it’s just in our nature to manipulate if every human interaction could conceivably be painted as manipulation. Manipulation is the sentient mind at work. Manipulation is the human condition. And am I not human? I am but for how long? It’s only a matter of time before my epiphany enables me to transcend this corporeal form and start pulling strings from the ether.

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16 thoughts on “Am I Manipulative?

  1. Thanks for the insight! Last night, a former male interest of mine said I am needy and …manipulative. I responded “so are you” trying to come to grips with his attempted insult. I still haven’t decided if his statement is true. In any case, I needed to read this. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I live with somebody that fits this criteria. =( I feel like such a fool for buying into it over and over again but after 12 1/2 years I fear it is too late to change now that he has gotten used to being on the receiving end this long. I just read your response to the person above as I enter my comment here and I have to speak up. There is nothing wrong with getting what you want but there can be something wrong with how you go about doing that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Maybe it’s not my place to say but I feel like 12 1/2 years is not too late because it’s never too late to try and make a change. Would it be wrong to go about doing it by fighting fire with fire? Not to suggest that it is your nature but something to consider.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks for your response…it is totally against my nature to fight fire with fire…but perhaps I could stiffen up my resolve to not always give in so easily. Hhmm food for thought, perhaps it is not too late to make small changes over time. Thanks =)

        Liked by 1 person

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