Week 300000 (or so it feels) of workin 2wards my (aka my slutwhorefromhell mother’s) goal of becoming sumthin other than a WHALE n ive had ENUFF! U remember my humungazoid roommate Karen (aka KRAZY NEVER GONNA LOOK LIKE A KARDASHIAN NOT EVEN IN A MILLION YEARS)? Well she rlly FUCKD everythin UP this week! The worst part is that shit was startin 2 be half deec but NUTHIN GOOD CAN LAST 4EVER when KAREN is around!!!! Bitch thinks she knows shit but she dont know shit, not any shit even tho shes filled w it GRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Y U NO FOAD KAREN?!?!?!?!!?!!!?!?!!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!
Newayz as I mentioned b4, I was pretty sure that K-hole was cheatin @ this whole weight loss thing bc she is huge n if nething only getting huger. Now I am 1000% sure of it!!!! Ok so vvvvv quick, we have these psycology books here at camp that r supposed 2 help us figure out why we r who we r (LUV YA KESHA!!!!) wich is pretty dope 4 most things but it rlly sux when it comes to eating bc theres all kind of BS in there about fastin 2 see how u mostly jus eat when ur bored or stressed or sad or whatevz n u can realy go a longass time w/o food (IM LIVIN PROOF RN LOL NOT BY CHOICE THO). Im no food expert (just a dedicated FOODIE n luver of FOODIE CULTURE as u well no) but I feel like those books r super dated bc the ideas seem straight up psycho n they r also v old lookin n not avail on kindle or ipad or online which is like wowwwwwww who da fuq wrote these n how do they expect 2 make any $$ off these bitches lol.
NEWAYS as prev mentioned Karen is a FUCKEN NERD who only talks bout startrek n science n books all day n doesnt feel like getting off her FAT ASSS 4 work duty n 4 some reason is allowed 2 read instead (I SWEAR HER FEET R FUKEN FINE SHES A LIAR!!!) its kewl tho bc id rather DYEEEEEEE than spend another fucken second of my long AF day around her. SO FUCKEN NERDO is readin (wut else is new lol) n finds a **pushes up nast ass dirty glasses up pig nose w grubby lil fingy** “perticularly interesting” part of 1 of tha books about finding ur strength in fasting, from after lunch until u wake up the next morning. Ur body might feel it but it makes ur mind n psychology more powerful n ready 4 wats ahead. Sooooo Karen’s all “OMG RONDA CHECK IT!!!!! FIRST OF ALL I WANNA HAVE SUPER GAI SEX W U (ok she didn’t say that but she def thinks it) AND 2ND IM GONNA THROW A HISSY FIT IF WE DUN TRY THIS MIND CLEARING FAST THINGY THAT SOUNDS STUPIDER THAN I LOOK!!!!!!”
Obv Ronda said the idea could be worth a try (bc she is NICE n OPEN MINDED unlike u no who) n we haven’t had a dinner 4 2 nights now. Wenever Karen hears my tummy growlin (FROM ACROSS THE ROOM NO JOKE ITS THAT FUCKEN LOUD) she says “Mandy, dinner is 4 sinners” like the biggest C-U-NEXT-TUESDAY to ever walk the planet!!! Including during caveman times and those bitches were CRAY CRAY! U no how I said id eat Karen 1 day? Ladies n gents I think im gettin close… lol jk im sure shes way 2 diseased.