Everyone got themselves in a little tizzy over Montreal’s plan to dump 8 (YES, EIGHT) BILLION (YES, BILLION) LITRES of raw sewage into the St. Lawrence river, contaminating the greatest f*cking city on Earth’s primary potable water supply. But why?
I can understand why people off-island would be shocked by the city’s decision to dump what seems to be a lot of raw sewage (8 billion litres-worth) into the St. Lawrence, destroying the rich, already-devastated-by-pollution ecosystem that exists there today. Montrealers (or Montrealais, if you prefer), on the other hand, shouldn’t be surprised as it is right in line with how we do things in the greatest f*cking city on Earth.
Aside from the beautiful architecture and the wide variety of cliques, Montreal is the greatest f*cking city on Earth because life on this island is free and easy. No one has a job. The few that do only have to work it once a week. Outsider don’t really understand how this can be done, but we make it work because our rent is cheap, our food is cheap, our beer is cheap, everything is cheap. And why do think us cheap-os can live so cheap? It’s because this city is founded on cutting corners.
This is a city that puts garbage and recycling in the same pile. This is a city that can’t repave a 100 meters-worth of road in less than six months. This is a city that paid for brand new metro cars without double checking the dimensions of the tunnels. Sure, it can be infuriating at times but you need to remember that blatant corruption and general disregard for due diligence is what gives you license to live responsibility-free.
You see, Montreal’s municipal government needed a place to dump 8 billion litres of raw sewage. So they took a quick look around, spotted that big river and said, “Hey there’s a cheap way to get rid of it. Dump it in the river!” Don’t act like you wouldn’t have done the exact same thing.
So, you may balk at the thought that as of October 18th, Montreal’s drinking water will be mostly feces and urines. But I for one will pour myself a nice, cold glass of Montreal’s world-famous raw sewage water and drink the whole thing…
Let it make me sick with civic pride because I don’t want to live on an island that plays by anyone else’s rules but its own.